Name that Salt ‘n Lighter

Welcome my friends…to SnL Summer 2011. Woot. Woot.

Now according to my comrad below, who will remain nameless but likes to go by his last name rather than

his first (good luck guessing since nearly HALF our staff does that), we are, I quote, “Blastoise excited” about this upcoming summer. But for me and my other slightly older friends who grew up in the Pokemon Era, I might argue that we are Charizard excited, or Articuno excited…or…Brock- finally -got- a- date- with -Officer- Jenny-and-turned-bright-red-like-anime-characters-do EXCITED! WHOOP.

So as I am sitting here, thinking about why I am so excited, I can’t deny that part of it derives from the outstanding cast of characters joining our staff this year. And to make it fun for all of you, I have devised a little game, using interesting facts, quotes, and other such nonsense that I have gathered about my future teammates. So based on your knowledge of us or your intutive guessing abilities, see if you can…name that Salt ‘n Lighter.

And in a bit, I’ll post the answers.


1. This staff member has been on Salt ‘n Light for several years, and recently got his favorite Charcoal Tee Shirt stolen by another staff member. When faced with a seemingly impossible problem, his usual response is “Make it work.”

2. Is very tall and good at every sport known to humankind. Likes black Nike socks and practicing the inward snare. Watches Sci-Fi movies like “Megashark versus Dinocroc”. Plays the game Settlers in unhealthy amounts.

3.Was recently nominated for a Hershey Apollo award and can sing any song from any Disney movie on command. Extremely good at cooking and baking.

4. Can fall asleep anywhere at anytime in any circumstance. Would like to Eat Mor Chiken while singing Juan Mayer songs…half in english and half in spanish.

5. Is a Rocket Scientist. Has a shirt to prove it.

6. Likes to drink tea in rocking chairs. Uses phraseology that would usually date her 2 generations above herself such as “Two thursdays past a tuesday” and “Not the strongest kid in the sandbox”. Knows what Onion Snow is.

7. Has lots of Berry SnL Tee Shirts.

8.Really enjoys learning new words. Loves the word “Majestic” in particular. Currently in the State Semi- Finals for volleyball.

9. Has a nickname that associates him with 16th president of the United States and/or one of the great Fathers of the Bible. Might have a mild case of Deep V-neck syndrome…and is proud of it. Sings or references Rebecca Black whenever possible.

10. Did Hip-Hop in Uganda and lives near Grand Rapids, Michigan.

11. Plays the ukelele but doesn’t tell many people about it. Can quote entire sections from the show “oddities” on Discovery Channel and can relate almost any situation to Melville’s Moby Dick.

12. Should have been born in the Medieval times so he could be a knight and fight dragons. Enjoys telling riddles that no one on earth can solve. Runs half-marathons in his spare time.

13. Really enjoys hunting and meat. Sports a stylish beard like Jesus.

14. Recently played the Wicked Witch in the Wizard of Oz. Is completely convinced that if she goes to an aquarium the glass will break in the tanks and she will be the unlucky individual to be eaten by a very large shark.

15. Has a plethora of jokes that almost everyone knows. Owns a cave…a series of caves actually. Once defeated a student in a jedi light saber battle.

16. Has a knack for making technology malfunction in her presence. Loves Pirates of the Caribbean. Only likes the cookie part of the Oreo to the extent that sometimes she actually removes the cream. (SACRILEGE!)

17. Likes Shmuffins and Shmiscuits. Does an incredibly believable rendition of “Midnight Train to Georgia.” Will wear jeans even if it is 152 degrees outside. Likes to match his sneakers to his shirt.

Good luck my friends. And Good Night.

~Secret Agent writer

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